Sometimes.. I feel things I can't describe, and if I can, I don't know if it's the right way. Every day, every minute, every second of my life...Every night..I deal with tears, with wet pillows, with dark feelings, with the silence and coldness of my bed..and I feel like my heart's breaking..and with it's last powers it's begging me.."save me.."..but I can't..I can't do anything, I don't have powers, I'm falling throught Hell, and all the time I keep hearing a song..HIS voice..inside of my head..of my heart..everywhere..I can't get him out of me..He's a piece of me..The last chance for a normal life is slipping throught my fingers and even if I want to catch it I can't..I know how all theese things feel..And I know that this is what I have to carry, I know I'll die with it..because only one person can make it right..that's him..and he'll never come..but I am not scared of it. I know this is my destiny..and even thought I suffer, I thank for theese feelings. They're one of the best things I've ever felt, and not many people feel it. I guess the price I have to pay is suffering in the way I do.
And if I feel this every second of my life..imagine the way I feel when I see him..hear him..laughing or..singing or dancing or talking or simply breathing..if I'd have him infront of me right now, I'd faint, lol.
This is just how I deal life..everyday..and as I said, I am not afraid of it anymore. I learnt to live with it, it's part of me now. I just wish him joy..and happiness..and I wish him to feel for someone, the love I feel for him.I wish he finds THAT one girl, that shall love him and take care of him like he deserves. I only want to see a smile. With a smile, I can live for the rest of my life..Take a photo of it and wet it every night..feel him in my sleep..wake up seeing his smile would bright my day..All I need to know is that he find that one girl he's looking for. That one who would make him bright of happiness, more than he's already brighting
